Monday, April 13, 2009

I guess I am in Thailand. I was in Krabi and last night has a pretty odd/terrifying experience. i will relay it. At about midnight I heard some intense rattling on the locked gate at the front of the hostel and some weird accent started yelling: "you let me in you fucker! I pay 200 baht to stay here tonight! you fucking let me in. I fuck you in the ass! Fucker!" and this went on for ten minutes, with the sound of smashing glass and door rattling and then stopped. Five minutes later two girls came back to the hostel and unlocked the door and this guy pushed past them and got inside the hostel. There were only ten rooms and we knew the owner wasn't there and this guy sounded hopped up on P or something. he started screaming "I'm going to find you, you fucks and fuck you in the ass. I am Peter Pan, come out of your fucking room. i fuck you all in the ass" at the top of his voice in a kind of scary ladyboyish accent.

So he comes up to the second floor where I am staying and starts smashing on everyone's door screaming that we have to come out. A few girls start screaming and adrenalin is coursing through me. I hear my neighbor, Andrew, a pretty cool Californian who lost his job and headed overseas six weeks ago, come out and ask him what the fuck he wants, so I, who am now fully dressed, go to the door and open it to see what this psycho wants. And here's the kicker: he's about a foot taller than me, dressed like some sort of raver with tattoos all over him, a pair of those elton john style sun-glasses with stars the size of the lenses attached to the frame, and, oh and and and, a big fucking bird the size of a normal sized chicken, but more like an eagle, perched on his right shoulder.

I go back in my room to wait it out, but there's a bunch more shouting form this psycho and so when I hear him go upstairs I go across to Andrews room and we lock ourselves in there. My door now has a big hole in it from where he has smashed his fists into it. We decide if he smashes on our door again we are going to mess this guy up, but the police show up and things seem under control. The cops don't give a shit though, and send him away with a friend of his to go to sleep.

So it all calms down and we all try and work out who the guy was, and finally go back to bed, when at about 2.30am the door begins to shake again and he starts screaming at us with the same message. All the guys get together on the second floor, though most don't want to fight him. Andrew, BTW is the same height as the guy but with an extra 20kgs on him, so he's one of those guys you want on your side. Anyhow, the guy finally takes off and we head back to bed. I'd met the girls next door (from Auckland, but kind of odd in a Hamilton/Auckland cross-over way). The next morning we all go out and get croissants and when we get back to the hostel we find out that the guy had stayed at the hotel a lot and had wanted to rent a room, but hadn't signed in for a key early enough. Apparently he's some rich guy, though we don't know from what nation, who owns a bar on a commercial island nearby. But that bird, wo there! - that bird. And he called himself Peter Pan, and really looked a bit like him.



Anyhow, there goes my 1/2 hour of internet time. Some more news some other time. I'm off to India on Thursday. I hope the job comes through and the dreams are sweet as some sort of syrup.